Once a year, almost every single person I know of makes a list of New Year’s Resolutions, whether they choose to write them down or simply daydream of things they’d like to change in the New Year. We reflect on the past year and plan big changes for the New Year.
I do it too.
I prefer to write them down, because it is a known fact that writing things down encourages the universe to give them to you. Sometimes. And wouldn’t it be great if you actually DID the things on your New Year’s Resolutions list? However, you might want to be careful what you write down. Nothing too personal. In fact, perhaps hide the list, in case your snickering wiseass of a teenager finds it and decides to post it on Facebook for revenge, all because you didn’t buy Captain Crunch.
- To stop telling the dog all my problems without politely offering to listen to his.
- To encase my credit cards in ice if I’m going to watch QVC.
- To stop putting my Halloween decorations away and bring my Christmas decorations out on the same day.
- To put gas in the car before the fuel light comes on.
- To finally tell the loud, heaving, grunting weightlifters at the gym to pipe down. Honestly. You’re not impressing anyone. You sound like you’re giving birth.
- To tell my family more often how much I love and appreciate them. Even if they sometimes make me so mad the cords on my neck stand out unattractively while I yell.
- To go to more garage sales than we did this past year, thereby increasing dramatically the chances of finding an old piggy bank that is stuffed with $100 bills. That no one ever noticed before. For a quarter.
- To “unfriend” at least one fake “friend” a month and stop accepting friend requests from people I passed in the hall for one semester in middle school.
- To become more regular by using Activia while encouraging (read: making) my husband to try it too instead of having to slip Benefiber in his morning coffee on the sly when he runs with the sports page into the bathroom.
- To match up clean pairs of socks sooner, instead of letting them sit in a laundry basket for weeks until I give up and just wash them all again.
- To actually learn what “Occupy (fill in blank)” actually means.
- To donate food to the food pantry more often, not just when I’m starting a new diet.
- To be kinder to my children and husband, and not just when I need a refill on my coffee/wine/water.
- To stop using sarcasm as a second language.
- To resist the siren call of “As Seen on TV” items in the Publisher’s Clearing House mailings and ordering them, just because I think secretly it really does increase my chances of winning.
- And as always, More Cowbell.
So, those are my resolutions. I’ll even keep some of them this year, for a change.
What’s on YOUR list?