The Smoky Eye

On cold days like the ones this past weekend, when it’s so bone-chilling, teeth-chattering cold, there is one thing you can do that really, really feels wonderful.  (No, not that.   That’s a whole different post.)

Take a hot bath.  Soak.  While the bath is pouring and you see steam curling out from under the bathroom door, take time to make a cup of hot tea in your favorite mug.  Put a little sugar in it.  I did that and it was a brilliant idea.  When I got out I was squeaky clean and warmed up, had comfortable sweats to put on and an afternoon that stretched out in front of me.  With a manuscript to work on and blog posts to address, that was an excellent thing.

I love coconut oil and to that end slathered some on my feet before putting on my cushy socks, then on my hands and arms, and hey, since I was going to stay in, I put a little on my face as moisturizer and brought that up into my hairline for a little extra shine. 

 Some days are good for trying out a new smoky eye look.  I thought that day would be one of those days.  I had purchased a beautiful muted violet color of eye shadow and our neighbor who represents MAC makeup had sent home some mauve eyeliner, and since I had nowhere to go, I applied eyeliner where I never had before.  I was going to wear glasses all day anyway, so if I emphasized my eyes a little more, it wouldn’t really matter.

except a lot darker.

Also experimented with coloring in my brows a lot little.  Going for a little bit of a Sandra Bullock look.

It was striking.  A lot darker than I thought, though.  Good thing I hadn’t planned on going anywhere, because I had 11:00 p.m. makeup at 11:00 a.m.

I checked Facebook, Pinterest, and my AOL account, then checked them again just in case something new and exciting had shown up.

It hadn’t.  Time to get to work on writing.

Attention deficit disorder kicks in and within ten minutes of writing I had the bright idea that now would be a good time to do the exchange I needed to do at the department store.  It was cold, sure.  But I was already dressed warmly!  I was showered, had shoes on and more importantly, had some extra time to do the exchange.   We needed milk anyway.  I decided instead of having to deal with fogged up glasses I’d wear my contacts.

In addition to having ADHD, apparently I also have a faulty memory.

After making an even exchange at the store, I also addressed with the returns clerk the fact that I didn’t get the 15% discount that I was supposed to.

To make things easier, she refunded the entire thing and then resold it back to me, and somehow instead of a little 15% discount, she handed me a gift card for $24.  I tried to explain to her the error in her thinking.  I really did. I’m maternal.  Patient.  Kind.   Apparently it was a little too mathematically challenging, and as she explained to me condescendingly, the cash register is never wrong.

 So, store which shall not be named, thanks for the extra Christmas money and hey, I tried to get your employee’s drawer to balance but she wouldn’t listen to me.

I give up and leave with a gift card of $24.22.  She sends my daughter a sympathetic look as we leave the store.

Daughter and I drive on to another store to pick up milk, Coke, and two frozen pizzas and some ice cream to get us through the afternoon.

It’s not until later on the way home that I check the rearview mirror and realize that because I put in my contacts, everyone could see that smoky eye I worked so hard on in the privacy of my bathroom.  In fact, thanks to the sun’s harsh rays, I look like a cold raccoon.  My cool factor, already at an all time low, drops even lower.

I then realize with a sinking heart that my stay-at-home hair, which actually looked like it had a lot of coconut oil in it and not the little bit I thought, was still in the just-showered clip I threw it up in.  Oily strands were hanging down to attractively frame the special violet eye makeup. 

That’s just great. 

But I had planned on staying at home.  Perhaps what I needed to do was slow down and look in the mirror before I left the house to make sure the few people who would see me on this cold day wouldn’t run away screaming.  Maybe slap on a hat?

The realization stuns me, because I then understand why the girl at Kohl’s gave me back the extra money.  It was because she felt sorry for me.  Look at her.  Poor thing.  Doesn’t get out much, with that oily hair, and certainly doesn’t know how to apply eye makeup.

I think I’ll buy a nice hat with that money.  For sure some good makeup remover.